You'll See

D.O.I.'s Neologisms:



I knew it was bound to happen: I have offended someone by doing nothing wrong at all, taking no action. Just because there's a fact known about me, I have done an irrevocable wrong...



So I've bestowed on the seeds that I've sewn
The ability to translate the truth to unknown
It sounds better with the details flown
And the facts out of proportion blown

Who decides to show the backbone?
Come to seek me out while I hide here alone?
Help me restore my degree of power
Stand firm, deliver against the crackheads who tower
us?

None. Instead they run behind.
Receive erroneous accusations that cross the line
I never thought your brilliance could be so blind.
But I hope you don't stumble, 'cause it's freedom time.

You'll see. I didn't attack or come at your before.
You'll know when my freedom fighters knock on your door.
You'll want to have regretted destroying my name.
So retreat now because you have LOST THE GAME.

The Power of Good-bye

So, here I am. Staying on a University Campus for just one night. Co-ed dorms. Cool people. A tour guide that walks as fast as me. A place where oppression due to difference just does not happen. Damn good food. An admissions officer who was immediately enthralled by my music. And freedom, used sparingly. What a contrast from the kid who stands to your left.

Why are we not here automatically? Must we earn this freedom from the social norms? I honestly wish we were given it from the get-go. With all that I have been shown from those who choose to spread lies and dabble in them constantly at the expense of the safety and sanity of others, I'd wish we were here first.

That's why I will make no mistakes to remain here.

"Niggas Don't Die"

Perhaps the most soulful word in the world is "nigger."

-Claude Brown, Manchild in the Promised Land

Diamonds (Reprise)

Just wanted to post this before I head off to another hectic day. It's been a rough night. I learned once again that I can't save the world.

An elemental urge yields the wheels that are turning.
With forbidden friction igniting passion that's burning
Yearning for a cause to dispel the concerning
Earning my right to give thoughts that are still churning.

Deserted. On both sides of existence, I've flirted.
Submerged too deep, so I come up to the surface.
And wish my attempts to eradicate weren't worthless.
If it meant I could allow you to be with a purpose.

So when they attack with barrels that are empty,
Stand by, for I will call up the gentry (and say...)

So show me.
Don't tell me
That your skills mark that of an emcee.
That your lyrics don't resemble envy
But still are forceful just like a sentry.

This is my entry into the alternatives
When played right, it'll make you burn to live
It'll sweep the dust of the remnants away
And give you the meaning of my moral coldplay

Don't state that I'm just another wannabe
'Cause I came here to expose the perjury
To further the girls from the remorse that's shown
And give them the power to try it on their own

So tell this
If you can prevail this
Heaven has to hail this
We are going to quell this anger

Danger, high voltage has been turned on
So for the rest of our lives, remain 10 million strong.

Diamonds are forever, man.

Poetry Workshop Freewrite 2

I remember a shadow under a spotlight
and wiping away the thought with the sweat on my brow.
I remember encountering the after thought, Reality.
I remember that after that afterthought, I thought of the memories I should've soon been remembering.
I remember my Grandmother's face
resembling the face of my old PC rendering and I remember
remembering how rare my old locomotive slowed up.
I remember remembering afterthoughts like counting sheep before I went to sleep.
I remember not remembering my dream because I was too busy remembering, fathering afterthoughts.
I remember making several phone calls
until the operator had to stop me
and it no longer rang at all.
I remember my Grandmother's face.
Then. And I thought.
Remember,
Fathers are just after thoughts.

Doubt

Post-Bornday Post. I needed a week to let the shit marinate.

First, I wanna thank whoever wished me a Happy Bornday and/or showed their face last week to celebrate with me. As those who attended could probably testify (PREACH, yessum!) that I was twisted. I mean champagne in one hand and Hennessy in the other. Awful. I blacked out, threw up, drank some more then -- it gets blurry after that.

I've heard some interesting stories -- weird conversations, funny stories, fat girls (FAT BITCHES NEED LUV TOO CRAIG!) Apparently theres a story involving me - a champagne bottle - and girls who somehow ended up with champagne ON them. Now I'm no misogynist, but -- poppin' champagne on girls: sweet.

I have a tendency to stumble off alone at times like these. A need to step back and reassess why -- through the whooping and hollering -- this doesn't feel right. Like I'm going too fast, faster than I really want to go in life.

I mean, these dreams I have are fast. Historic and shallow and discerning all at the same time. They're big...bigger than me and my shoulders can handle. And my bornday had me questioning myself.

'Is this what I want?' I asked myself, caught in the highway of my own vulnerability.

My response: "Yeah, dumb nigga."

Never doubt yourself. There's enough people out here to do that for you.

The Bare Essentials

So, I heard the controversy over the Window Seat video Erykah Badu boldly put out. She walks down the strip where JFK was assassinated on a hot day and bares all, literally. The song is dope and the video, even doper. You can check it out yourself man, I'm not usually one to try an psycho-analyze reasons and such but she says it all for the most part herself.

Also, a five-year old girl talks with her mom about the video too:
[SH = Mom, TH = 5 yr old daughter]

"TH: That’s why it is OK. We all have one. We are all peoples (not a typo, she said “peoples”).

SH: Yes, we are all people.

TH: Mommy, she has boobies too.

SH: Yes, Erykah Badu has boobies too. So it is OK to show your boobies outside?

TH: Yes, but only if you want to because they are yours. Oh mommy, she fell down!

SH: Yes she did. She was shot.

TH: Why?

SH: Why do you think?

TH: Because she was naked and cool and free?

SH: Maybe."

“They play it safe. Are quick to assassinate what they do not understand. They move in pacts, ingesting more and more fear with every act of hate on one another. They feel most comfortable in groups; less guilt to swallow. They are us. This is what we have become, afraid to respect the individual. A single person, or event, or circumstance can move one to change, to love our self... to evolve."

- E. Badu